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The VAPOIZER, by Fred Engel, VE7EE Monday, June 07, 1999
Harc, what Noise through Yonder Breaketh…..
Pleasantola SportsFans and a special Hello to all CONTESTERS, who continue to annoy me every Weekend…except VE7CC, who is a gentleman…!
And Greetings to our new Supremo Editor, who is once again hiding behind all the known and unknown DISCLAIMERS.
O.K. come on out Orange, behind all that verbage and stand firm…!
And while we're on the subject of standing firm.
The world recently was advised that the first VIAGRA Baby was delivered on this chemically enhanced world of ours, it hit the silk at 5 pounds and six inches.
And while speaking of hitting the silk and the most recent Airline Mishaps.
Flying is not dangerous, crashing is dangerous.
It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than wishing you were down there.
For all you poor souls that had the pleasure to learn to fly at RCAF Moose Jaw, Sask., flying in an agricultural setting and using cattle to judge your angle of approach, made the task of landing easier.
If the cows didn't pay any attention to you, you and your Yellow Peril Harvard were too high.
If the cows just barely acknowledged your heavenly presence, you were on the correct glide path.
But if they started staring at you with their big bug eyes, you were definitely too low.
Don't you believe that the propeller is just a big fan in the front of the aircraft, to keep the pilot cool…just try to stop the prop with your bare hands and watch the pilot break out into Cold Sweat…
So kindly remember, air speed is life, altitude is life insurance.
No one has ever collided with the sky.
As one of my instructors used to say, just keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
After all, the probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival…
It saddens me a great deal to once again having to report on an Ham Happening, spoiled by my travelling partner, Bill, VE7QC.
You will surely recall how the QC rather violently pushed me aside to get through the Armory Door first, at last springs Burnaby Meet.
Well having succeeded in buying the ticket that was destined to become mine, he promptly won the Door Prize, a brand new ICOM Handheld, courtesy COM-WEST Radio.
Well you may not believe this, but on a recent Sunday at the Maple Ridge Swap Meet, the entire entry scene was repeated. Although the QC offered to allow me through the door first, I declined the shoving match.
Following behind Bill, I took my time in the lineup, which the QC of course once again used to bully his way towards the ticket sellers.
The result was the same would you believe…he won the ICOM Handheld Door Prize again. Can you believe it?! Shocking eh whot?
How does he do it and is there criminal intent that we the innocent victims can prove to the highest court in the country…?
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